brian liam (extravaganceinc) wrote,
brian liam

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literally: in the usual roundabout way i have been accused of more property damage- again completely out of my sphere of influence. i am not such a shady motherfucker that i would not come clean about anything of that nature. in fact, let the record show that in the past i have been quite forthcoming about things of this nature. if i had any part to do with it, i would own up to it, i really would. but it is not my problem this time, and i couldn't care less.

then: the feelings i have on my upcoming project seem to seamlessly shift from one end of the spectrum to the other; dread to wonder, hate to love. i have nothing to be scared of, yet i am petrified by the unexplored which will be unfolding as i go in the next few weeks.

in addition: i have assumed another project along the same lines. i am giving back. or trying to, rather. floating face-down downstream; i've no use for a paddle.

i thought: that it was all over last night. i was overwhelmed with the most menial and trivial things, a situation which at the time seemed irreperable. i thought it was fixed this morning, but my french class re-emphasized those feelings. one cup of coffee and a lecture on the design features of human language later i am jittery and feeling just fine, caffeine headrush aside. i needed some grounding; nothing like postulating about the nature of human language to make me feel whole again.

they say: that you can't look to worldly things to make you whole. this obviously implies material goods, but it extends to people. johnny c: isn't this what you've been saying all along?
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